Jericho is back. Notice that I didn’t follow that sentence with an exclamation point. There’s a reason for that. Now I’m not saying that I’m not full of joy for the return of one of the all-time greats. However, it was the presentation of this return that left a bad taste in my mouth. As The Merchandise previously mentioned, we were treated to months and months of teasers telling us that someone would Save_Us.222. Everyone’s initial reaction was “Jericho”. However, as time slowly passed that element of surprise was still there. There was that feeling that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t Jericho.
Rumors floated around that it was a way to debut The New Hart Foundation (then Teddy got fired, Harry did his dad’s gimmick and Nattie is just Nattie) or it could have been the debut of a brand new talent or the repackaging of a current talent. My personal favorite theory was that it was hyping the return of Bobby Lashley as a computer repair guy. That’s another story for another time though.
Eventually certain events coincided with Jericho’s eminent return. The “code” began to reveal more clues and Jericho’s book tour schedule left us wondering exactly when he’d return. In the end, Philly was left high and dry (ya know, something different) and Jericho’s return was more expected than surprising. Damn you WWE Magazine. Anyway, the delivery of his return was kind of disappointing. Jericho clotheslining the Torch Bearer ruined the anticipation for me. It also received no pop what-so-ever. Once his video hit, the fans got what they wanted. He was also thrown into an instant feud with WWE Champion Randy Orton for funsies.
All in all, I’m happy that Jericho is back, but curious as to where it’s going. He’s in a feud with a Champion that is receiving X-Pac Heat and he almost seems like a fish out of water. Chris Jericho in a wrestling ring should be a natural fit, but watching him work Santino on Monday night seemed a little awkward. Maybe it was the fans sitting on their hands or maybe it was how different Jericho looks with short hair. Can’t put my finger on it. I’m just very anxious to see how it all plays out. His mic skills have not missed a beat which I’m psyched about and it’s great to have a new veteran back in the locker room to help bring along a lot of talented young performers such as Santino Marella.
Speaking of Santino; How great is he?! This version of the Italian Wrestler leaves the FBI in the dust. I know I’ll probably get my head chewed off by ECW faithful for saying that, but oh well. I'll have to steal a l ine from James Guttman here and agree that Santino Marella is what Vince McMahon sees when he closes his eyes and thinks "Italian". I personally think he’s awesome and the guys mic work is the highlight of my Monday nights. I was skeptical of him as a babyface at first because let’s be honest, who likes Italians? The second they turned him heel, I knew there was a purpose for Santino’s existence. There have been many guys over the years who have been compared to The Rock when it comes to mic work, with John Cena (who I’m also a big fan of) being the closest, but I think Santino has what it takes to be a mentioned in the same breath. Maybe not just yet, but he’s certainly making the progress to have some longevity. Just as long as he doesn’t piss off the wrong people, order pharmaceuticals from the internet or die. With dead wrestlers being such a trend these past few years (a lot of which I may or may not have had something to do with), it brings me to the final topic…
Vickie Guerrero. Vickie, Vickie, Vickie. Like, I get it that Edge is the biggest man-whore the company has ever seen, but Jesus. Is nothing sacred anymore? I agree with a lot of the things that HKB said in his post. The only thing that I can put up a valid argument is the fact that apparently Eddie left his family with a tremendous amount of debt after he passed. I also like the idea of an Eddie Guerrero Memorial Tournament. They should do it before some indy promotion that Eddie never worked for has one. (Side Note: I dare any indy promotion to host a Chris Benoit Memorial Cup. Mark my words I’ll be the FIRST person calling about a booking if it happens. I don’t care where it is.) I guess I’m not surprised by the angle. Not that I watch Smackdown or anything, but if they recreate the Live Sex Show starring Edge and Vickie, I’ll be the first to tune in. It’s like they say, “Anything can happen in the WWE.”
- Winky Lexington
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Obligatory Vickie Guerrero post.
Vickie Guerrero.
What can I say on this subject that hasn't already been said? Truth be told, I'm not 100% sure where I come down on the issue. Let’s step back for a second and examine the situation.
Eddie is dead. There's no getting around this fact. Now I for one, feel it is appropriate for WWE to honor his memory to an extent. Think about it like those indy tournaments that spring up to honor other dead wrestlers. The prime example would be the Brian Pillman show that goes down every year. Why not an annual King of the Ring style tournament dubbed the Eddie Guerrero invitational something or other? That seems like an appropriate way to honor a man who, by all medical accounts, died of natural causes on the eve of his reclaiming the company's biggest title. But then again, isn't that exploitation? Aren't they just playing on the recognition of Eddie's name to sell tickets, concessions and PPV?
But then we look at the ACTUAL reaction to Eddie's death. First we get the feud between Mysterio and Chavo as to who loved Eddie more (or something ridiculously absurd). This all coming off the heels of the Eddie vs. Mysterio feud as to who was the real father of Rey's son. Then Vickie gets involved in the feud, eventually turning heel against Rey. NOW, Vickie Guerrero is the GM of Smackdown, making out with Edge on TV, screwing the Undertaker and Batista in favor of her new lover. Seriously? This is how WWE sees fit to honor the memory of a former World Champion? By whoring his widow all over national television?
Here is where it gets sticky for me though. Firstly, it’s not like Vickie is being forced into this angle. She can walk away anytime she wants to. If she is offended by the angle or feels cheapened by it, I'm sure Eddie left her more than enough money to get by on. Not to mention his family, that I'm sure would be willing to help her out. Vickie is obviously onboard with the angle and, while I find it tasteless and disrespectful, she doesn't see a problem with sucking face with the Rated R Superstar.
The second reason I have a hard time trashing Vince and company over this one is simply the fact that she's gainfully employed. If I died tomorrow, would my crappy job offer a position to my widow? Would yours? WWE stepped up and gave this woman a steady paycheck and an outlet to surround herself with family and friends (namely Chavo and Rey) in an industry she has no right to be in. Her skill set is far from that of a WWE performer. She isn't a trained wrestler, she isn't a convincing actress, and she's a frumpy middle aged woman with zero sex appeal. How can I criticize them for that? Sure the angle blows, but that’s just the nature of Smackdown. Everything on that show is awful. Hell, everything in the WWE not involving Chris Jericho or Triple H is almost completely unwatchable.
I guess what it comes down to is, as long as Edge doesn't do a repeat of the live sex show with this used up old whore, we've got no reason to get upset about it. But I swear to god, if I accidentally stumble onto WWE programming and see her sloppy tits flop out during some simulated orgy in the ring, I'm done with the company forever.
"HKB"
What can I say on this subject that hasn't already been said? Truth be told, I'm not 100% sure where I come down on the issue. Let’s step back for a second and examine the situation.
Eddie is dead. There's no getting around this fact. Now I for one, feel it is appropriate for WWE to honor his memory to an extent. Think about it like those indy tournaments that spring up to honor other dead wrestlers. The prime example would be the Brian Pillman show that goes down every year. Why not an annual King of the Ring style tournament dubbed the Eddie Guerrero invitational something or other? That seems like an appropriate way to honor a man who, by all medical accounts, died of natural causes on the eve of his reclaiming the company's biggest title. But then again, isn't that exploitation? Aren't they just playing on the recognition of Eddie's name to sell tickets, concessions and PPV?
But then we look at the ACTUAL reaction to Eddie's death. First we get the feud between Mysterio and Chavo as to who loved Eddie more (or something ridiculously absurd). This all coming off the heels of the Eddie vs. Mysterio feud as to who was the real father of Rey's son. Then Vickie gets involved in the feud, eventually turning heel against Rey. NOW, Vickie Guerrero is the GM of Smackdown, making out with Edge on TV, screwing the Undertaker and Batista in favor of her new lover. Seriously? This is how WWE sees fit to honor the memory of a former World Champion? By whoring his widow all over national television?
Here is where it gets sticky for me though. Firstly, it’s not like Vickie is being forced into this angle. She can walk away anytime she wants to. If she is offended by the angle or feels cheapened by it, I'm sure Eddie left her more than enough money to get by on. Not to mention his family, that I'm sure would be willing to help her out. Vickie is obviously onboard with the angle and, while I find it tasteless and disrespectful, she doesn't see a problem with sucking face with the Rated R Superstar.
The second reason I have a hard time trashing Vince and company over this one is simply the fact that she's gainfully employed. If I died tomorrow, would my crappy job offer a position to my widow? Would yours? WWE stepped up and gave this woman a steady paycheck and an outlet to surround herself with family and friends (namely Chavo and Rey) in an industry she has no right to be in. Her skill set is far from that of a WWE performer. She isn't a trained wrestler, she isn't a convincing actress, and she's a frumpy middle aged woman with zero sex appeal. How can I criticize them for that? Sure the angle blows, but that’s just the nature of Smackdown. Everything on that show is awful. Hell, everything in the WWE not involving Chris Jericho or Triple H is almost completely unwatchable.
I guess what it comes down to is, as long as Edge doesn't do a repeat of the live sex show with this used up old whore, we've got no reason to get upset about it. But I swear to god, if I accidentally stumble onto WWE programming and see her sloppy tits flop out during some simulated orgy in the ring, I'm done with the company forever.
"HKB"
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
My Dissapointing Raw Adventure
So.. Welcome.. About a month ago...to the day... My friends invited me to WWE Raw. Now, while I don't watch regularly, I continue to follow closely online. Nevertheless, I agreed to go. For one reason and one reason only. I was sure that Chris Jericho was to be returning. We even went so far as to order the Cyber Sunday PPV the night before. Ensuring my initial feelings that Y2J would be making his return there, if he didn't later that night. He had a book signing in Philadelphia that afternoon, mere hours before Raw. I was sure! Beyond a shadow of a doubt. I was going to witness the return of one my top ten favorite wrestlers of all time!!
Monday afternoon rolls around. And I go to do what any normal fan would do before any wrestling event (or baseball event, or football, youth league soccer, etc). We get to the beer distributor..and it is closed!! (Surely, a sign of things to come) Luckily, there is a liquor store right next to it, which is still open. Now, we all can drink the same beer and have a good time. However, the group that went had vastly different tastes in liquor. So rather than compromising, to each went his own. And, in a liquor store, you cant get the little personal bottle...for the money it's just not worth it. I planned on bringing home whatever it was that I didn't drink.
Beautiful FDR park. We meet the rest of our group and proceed to not only park for free but tailgate for the two hours we have left before raw starts. So, before you know it, my bottle of rum is somehow empty. And it is time for us to go. Not before a brief visit to the trunk of a car to partake in more activities in an effort to enhance what was sure to be, Jericho notwithstanding, a lackluster show.
So we get inside and go to our seats, which were actually closer to the ceiling than the rafters of which Owen Hart eventually fell to his death from. We sat through Heat, which featured Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and us repeatedly yelling, "Hoooo." And several other meaningless garbage matches, some of which may or may not have involved Snitsky. After another beer or two, which somehow found its way to me instead of the food I so desperately craved. There it was!! On the Titan Tron. Less than halfway through Raw(I think). The SAVEUS.222 Video!! It was about to happen!! Y2J! Y2J! Y2J! But then..it ended. And some wrestler who wasn't Y2J came out to his regular music and the show went on. Now, at this point, I lost it. This is where the story suffers slightly, as there is no real way to document the exact series of events.
Not having a real grip on reality at the time anway. I decided not to sit through the rest of the, sure to be god awful, show. Rather than sit with my friends and watch another hour plus of WWE Superstars, I simply got up and left. Surely, muttering under and over my breath a mix of incoherent curse words and the letters Y2J. I eventually found myself back at FDR park. It was a chilly fall night. I (read: my body) decided to take a little nap (read: pass out next to my buddy's car).
About an hour or so later. My friends returned. Sure enough, I did not miss a thing. A midget wrestled a real person. Another Diva's costume match (Post Script. The night before, I believe Torrie was wearing a Sean Taylor Jersey at the PPV in DC. Ironic, simply because I would love to shoot her in the crotch...) Mick Foley came out of retirement. DX agreed to reform (Next week), Stone Cold announced he was returning to raw (Next week), and we were basically left with very little in the way of action or storyline.
So, I left, cold, defeated, hungry, with some strange substance resembling vomit on my shoes and jacket. In the ultimate ending to this story, I decided to sleep at a friends house rather than attempt driving home. I left my keys in his car and he left early the next morning for work. I was for all essential purposes stranded. Which wouldnt have been awful, except for the only thing in his fridge was a year old box of saltwater taffys and an empty pepsi box...
This is what happens when you mix me taking wrestling too seriously and being a supermark at times with my raging alcohol abuse. I reccomend neither.
So, the moral of the story, everybody.
Support your local Indy wrestling!!!
-The Merchandise
Monday afternoon rolls around. And I go to do what any normal fan would do before any wrestling event (or baseball event, or football, youth league soccer, etc). We get to the beer distributor..and it is closed!! (Surely, a sign of things to come) Luckily, there is a liquor store right next to it, which is still open. Now, we all can drink the same beer and have a good time. However, the group that went had vastly different tastes in liquor. So rather than compromising, to each went his own. And, in a liquor store, you cant get the little personal bottle...for the money it's just not worth it. I planned on bringing home whatever it was that I didn't drink.
Beautiful FDR park. We meet the rest of our group and proceed to not only park for free but tailgate for the two hours we have left before raw starts. So, before you know it, my bottle of rum is somehow empty. And it is time for us to go. Not before a brief visit to the trunk of a car to partake in more activities in an effort to enhance what was sure to be, Jericho notwithstanding, a lackluster show.
So we get inside and go to our seats, which were actually closer to the ceiling than the rafters of which Owen Hart eventually fell to his death from. We sat through Heat, which featured Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and us repeatedly yelling, "Hoooo." And several other meaningless garbage matches, some of which may or may not have involved Snitsky. After another beer or two, which somehow found its way to me instead of the food I so desperately craved. There it was!! On the Titan Tron. Less than halfway through Raw(I think). The SAVEUS.222 Video!! It was about to happen!! Y2J! Y2J! Y2J! But then..it ended. And some wrestler who wasn't Y2J came out to his regular music and the show went on. Now, at this point, I lost it. This is where the story suffers slightly, as there is no real way to document the exact series of events.
Not having a real grip on reality at the time anway. I decided not to sit through the rest of the, sure to be god awful, show. Rather than sit with my friends and watch another hour plus of WWE Superstars, I simply got up and left. Surely, muttering under and over my breath a mix of incoherent curse words and the letters Y2J. I eventually found myself back at FDR park. It was a chilly fall night. I (read: my body) decided to take a little nap (read: pass out next to my buddy's car).
About an hour or so later. My friends returned. Sure enough, I did not miss a thing. A midget wrestled a real person. Another Diva's costume match (Post Script. The night before, I believe Torrie was wearing a Sean Taylor Jersey at the PPV in DC. Ironic, simply because I would love to shoot her in the crotch...) Mick Foley came out of retirement. DX agreed to reform (Next week), Stone Cold announced he was returning to raw (Next week), and we were basically left with very little in the way of action or storyline.
So, I left, cold, defeated, hungry, with some strange substance resembling vomit on my shoes and jacket. In the ultimate ending to this story, I decided to sleep at a friends house rather than attempt driving home. I left my keys in his car and he left early the next morning for work. I was for all essential purposes stranded. Which wouldnt have been awful, except for the only thing in his fridge was a year old box of saltwater taffys and an empty pepsi box...
This is what happens when you mix me taking wrestling too seriously and being a supermark at times with my raging alcohol abuse. I reccomend neither.
So, the moral of the story, everybody.
Support your local Indy wrestling!!!
-The Merchandise
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)